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her frustrated expression was humorous。 The whole situation； the whole conversation
was humorous。 No one had ever been in more danger from me than this little girl—at
any moment I might； distracted by my ridiculous absorption in the conversation； inhale
through my nose and attack her before I could stop myself—and she was irritated because
I hadn't answered her question。
〃Am I annoying you？〃 I asked； smiling at the absurdity of it all。
She glanced at me quickly； and then her eyes seemed to get trapped by my gaze。
〃Not exactly；〃 she told me。 〃I'm more annoyed at myself。 My face is so easy to
read—my mother always calls me her open book。〃
She frowned； disgruntled。
I stared at her in amazement。 The reason she was upset was because she thought I
saw through her too easily。 How bizarre。 I'd never expended so much effort to
understand someone in all my life—or rather existence； as life was hardly the right word。
I did not truly have a life。
〃On the contrary；〃 I disagreed； feeling strangely？wary； as if there were some
hidden danger here that I was failing to see。 I was suddenly on edge； the premonition
making me anxious。 〃I find you very difficult to read。〃
〃You must be a good reader then；〃 she guessed； making her own assumption that
was； again； right on target。
〃Usually；〃 I agreed。
I smiled at her widely then； letting my lips pull back to expose the rows of
gleaming； razor sharp teeth behind them。
It was a stupid thing to do； but I was abruptly； unexpectedly desperate to get some
kind of warning through to the girl。 Her body was closer to me than before； having
shifted unconsciously in the course of our conversation。 All the little markers and signs
that were sufficient to scare off the rest of humanity did not seem to be working on her。
Why did she not cringe away from me in terror？ Surely she had seen enough of my
darker side to realize the danger； intuitive as she seemed to be。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
46
I didn't get to see if my warning had the intended effect。 Mr。 Banner called for
the class's attention just then； and she turned away from me at once。 She seemed a little
relieved for the interruption； so maybe she understood unconsciously。
I hoped she did。
I recognized the fascination growing inside me； even as I tried to root it out。 I
could not afford to find Bella Swan interesting。 Or rather； she could not afford that。
Already； I was anxious for another chance to talk to her。 I wanted to know more about
her mother； her life before she came here； her relationship with her father。 All the
meaningless details that would flesh out her character further。 But every second I spent
with her was a mistake； a risk she shouldn't have to take。
Absentmindedly； she tossed her thick hair just at the moment that I allowed
myself another breath。 A particularly concentrated wave of her scent hit the back of my
throat。
It was like the first day—like the wrecking ball。 The pain of the burning dryness
made me dizzy。 I had to grasp the table again to keep myself in my seat。 This time I had
slightly more control。 I didn't break anything； at least。 The monster growled inside me；
but took no pleasure in my pain。 He was too tightly bound。 For the moment。
I stopped breathing altogether； and leaned as far from the girl as I could。
No； I could not afford to find her fascinating。 The more interesting I found her；
the more likely it was that I would kill her。 I'd already made two minor slips today。
Would I make a third； one that was not minor？
As soon as the bell sounded； I fled from the classroom—probably destroying
whatever impression of politeness I'd halfway constructed in the course of the hour。
Again； I gasped at the clean； wet air outside like it was a healing attar。 I hurried to put as
much distance between myself and the girl as was possible。
Emmett waited for me outside the door of our Spanish class。 He read my wild
expression for a moment。
How did it go？ he wondered warily。
〃Nobody died；〃 I mumbled。
I guess that's something。 When I saw Alice ditching there at the end； I thought？
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
47
As we walked into the classroom； I saw his memory from just a few moments
ago； seen through the open door of his last class： Alice walking briskly and blank…faced
across the grounds toward the science building。 I felt his remembered urge to get up and
join her； and then his decision to stay。 If Alice needed his help； she would ask？
I closed my eyes in horror and disgust as I slumped into my seat。 〃I hadn't
realized that it was that close。 I didn't think I was going to？I didn't see that it was that
bad；〃 I whispered。
It wasn't； he reassured me。 Nobody died； right？
〃Right；〃 I said through my teeth。 〃Not this time。〃
Maybe it will get easier。
〃Sure。〃
Or； maybe you kill her。 He shrugged。 You wouldn't be the first one to mess up。
No one would judge you too harshly。 Sometimes a person just smells too good。 I'm
impressed you've lasted this long。
〃Not helping； Emmett。〃
I was revolted by his acceptance of the idea that I would kill the girl； that this was
somehow inevitable。 Was it her fault that she smelled so good？
I know when it happened to me？； he reminisced； taking me back with him half a
century； to a country lane at dusk； where a middle…aged women was taking her dried
sheets down from a line strung between apple trees。 The scent of apples hung heavy in
the air—the harvest was over and the rejected fruits were scattered on the ground； the
bruises in their skin leaking their fragrance out in thick clouds。 A fresh…mowed field of
hay was a background to that scent； a harmony。 He walked up the lane； all but oblivious
to the woman； on an errand for Rosalie。 The sky was purple overhead； orange over the
western trees。 He would have continued up the meandering cart path and there would
have been no reason to remember the evening； except that a sudden night breeze blew the
white sheets out like sails and fanned the woman's scent across Emmett's face。
〃Ah；〃 I groaned quietly。 As if my own remembered thirst was not enough。
I know。 I didn't last half a second。 I didn't even think about resisting。
His memory became far too explicit for me to stand。
I jumped to my feet； my teeth locked hard enough cut through steel。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
48
〃Esta bien； Edward？〃 Senora Goff asked； startled by my sudden movement。 I
could see my face in her mind； and I knew that I looked far from well。
〃Me perdona；〃 I muttered； as I darted for the door。
〃Emmett—por favor； puedas tu ayuda a tu hermano？〃 she asked； gesturing
helplessly toward me as I rushed out of the room。
〃Sure；〃 I heard him say。 And then he was right behind me。
He followed me to the far side of the building； where he caught up to me and put
his hand on my shoulder。
I shoved his hand away with unnecessary force。 It would have shattered the
bones in a human hand； and the bones in the arm attached to it。
〃Sorry； Edward。〃
〃I know。〃 I drew in deep gasps of air； trying to clear my head and my lungs。
〃Is it as bad as that？〃 he asked； tryin