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No sickness can come near to blast my health； My life depends not
upon any meat； My bread comes not from any human tilth； No wings will
grow upon my changeless wealth； Wrong cannot touch it； violence or
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The Diary of an Old Soul
deceit； Thou art my life； my health； my bank； my barn And from all
other gods thou plain dost warn。
18。
Care thou for mine whom I must leave behind； Care that they know
who 'tis for them takes care； Thy present patience help them still to bear；
Lord； keep them clearing； growing； heart and mind； In one thy oneness us
together bind； Last earthly prayer with which to thee I cling Grant that；
save love； we owe not anything。
19。
'Tis well； for unembodied thought a live； True house to buildof
stubble； wood； nor hay； So； like bees round the flower by which they
thrive； My thoughts are busy with the informing truth； And as I build； I
feed； and grow in youth Hoping to stand fresh； clean； and strong； and
gay； When up the east comes dawning His great day。
20。
Thy will is truth'tis therefore fate； the strong。 Would that my will did
sweep full swing with thine！ Then harmony with every spheric song； And
conscious power； would give sureness divine。 Who thinks to thread thy
great laws' onward throng； Is as a fly that creeps his foolish way Athwart
an engine's wheels in smooth resistless play。
21。
Thou in my heart hast planted； gardener divine； A scion of the tree of
life： it grows； But not in every wind or weather it blows； The leaves fall
sometimes from the baby tree； And the life…power seems melting into pine；
Yet still the sap keeps struggling to the shine； And the unseen root clings
cramplike unto thee。
22。
Do thou； my God； my spirit's weather control； And as I do not gloom
though the day be dun； Let me not gloom when earth…born vapours roll
Across the infinite zenith of my soul。 Should sudden brain…frost through
the heart's summer run； Cold； weary； joyless； waste of air and sun； Thou
art my south； my summer…wind； my all； my one。
23。
O Life； why dost thou close me up in death？ O Health； why make me
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inhabit heaviness？ I ask； yet know： the sum of this distress； Pang…
haunted body； sore…dismayed mind； Is but the egg that rounds the winged
faith； When that its path into the air shall find； My heart will follow； high
above cold； rain； and wind。
24。
I can no more than lift my weary eyes； Therefore I lift my weary eyes…
…no more。 But my eyes pull my heart； and that； before 'Tis well awake；
knocks where the conscience lies； Conscience runs quick to the spirit's
hidden door： Straightway； from every sky…ward window； cries Up to the
Father's listening ears arise。
25。
Not in my fancy now I search to find thee； Not in its loftiest forms
would shape or bind thee； I cry to one whom I can never know； Filling me
with an infinite overflow； Not to a shape that dwells within my heart；
Clothed in perfections love and truth assigned thee； But to the God thou
knowest that thou art。
26。
Not； Lord； because I have done well or ill； Not that my mind looks up
to thee clear…eyed； Not that it struggles in fast cerements tied； Not that I
need thee daily sorer still； Not that I wretched； wander from thy will； Not
now for any cause to thee I cry； But this； that thou art thou； and here am I。
27。
Yestereve； Death came； and knocked at my thin door。 I from my
window looked： the thing I saw； The shape uncouth； I had not seen before。
I was disturbedwith fear； in sooth； not awe； Whereof ashamed； I instantly
did rouse My will to seek theeonly to fear the more： Alas！ I could not
find thee in the house。
28。
I was like Peter when he began to sink。 To thee a new prayer therefore
I have got That； when Death comes in earnest to my door； Thou wouldst
thyself go； when the latch doth clink； And lead him to my room； up to my
cot； Then hold thy child's hand； hold and leave him not； Till Death has
done with him for evermore。
29。
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Till Death has done with him？Ah； leave me then！ And Death has
done with me； oh； nevermore！ He comesand goesto leave me in thy
arms； Nearer thy heart； oh； nearer than before！ To lay thy child； naked；
new…born again Of mother earth； crept free through many harms； Upon thy
bosomstill to the very core。
30。 Come to me； Lord： I will not speculate how； Nor think at which
door I would have thee appear； Nor put off calling till my floors be swept；
But cry； 〃Come； Lord； come any way； come now。〃 Doors； windows； I
throw wide； my head I bow； And sit like some one who so long has slept
That he knows nothing till his life draw near。
31。
O Lord； I have been talking to the people； Thought's wheels have
round me whirled a fiery zone； And the recoil of my words' airy ripple My
heart unheedful has puffed up and blown。 Therefore I cast myself before
thee prone： Lay cool hands on my burning brain； and press 》From my
weak heart the swelling emptiness。
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FEBRUARY。
1。
I TO myself have neither power nor worth； Patience nor love； nor
anything right good； My soul is a poor land； plenteous in dearth Here
blades of grass； there a small herb for food A nothing that would be
something if it could； But if obedience； Lord； in me do grow； I shall one
day be better than I know。
2。
The worst power of an evil mood is this It makes the bastard self
seem in the right； Self； self the end； the goal of human bliss。 But if the
Christ…self in us be the might Of saving God； why should I spend my force
With a dark thing to reason of the light Not push it rough aside； and hold
obedient course？
3。
Back still it comes to this： there was a man Who said； 〃I am t