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so pretty withal； that I was quite ready at the end of half an hour
to subscribe to the most comprehensive of Pickering's rhapsodies。
She was certainly a wonderful woman。 I have never liked to linger；
in memory； on that half…hour。 The result of it was to prove that
there were many more things in the composition of a woman who； as
Niedermeyer said； had lodged her imagination in the place of her
heart than were dreamt of in my philosophy。 Yet； as I sat there
stroking my hat and balancing the account between nature and art in
my affable hostess； I felt like a very competent philosopher。 She
had said she wished me to tell her everything about our friend； and
she questioned me as to his family； his fortune； his antecedents； and
his character。 All this was natural in a woman who had received a
passionate declaration of love； and it was expressed with an air of
charmed solicitude； a radiant confidence that there was really no
mistake about his being a most distinguished young man； and that if I
chose to be explicit； I might deepen her conviction to disinterested
ecstasy； which might have almost provoked me to invent a good
opinion； if I had not had one ready made。 I told her that she really
knew Pickering better than I did； and that until we met at Homburg I
had not seen him since he was a boy。
〃But he talks to you freely；〃 she answered； 〃I know you are his
confidant。 He has told me certainly a great many things； but I
always feel as if he were keeping something back； as if he were
holding something behind him； and showing me only one hand at once。
He seems often to be hovering on the edge of a secret。 I have had
several friendships in my lifethank Heaven！ but I have had none
more dear to me than this one。 Yet in the midst of it I have the
painful sense of my friend being half afraid of me； of his thinking
me terrible； strange； perhaps a trifle out of my wits。 Poor me！ If
he only knew what a plain good soul I am； and how I only want to know
him and befriend him！〃
These words were full of a plaintive magnanimity which made mistrust
seem cruel。 How much better I might play providence over Pickering's
experiments with life if I could engage the fine instincts of this
charming woman on the providential side！ Pickering's secret was； of
course； his engagement to Miss Vernor； it was natural enough that he
should have been unable to bring himself to talk of it to Madame
Blumenthal。 The simple sweetness of this young girl's face had not
faded from my memory； I could not rid myself of the suspicion that in
going further Pickering might fare much worse。 Madame Blumenthal's
professions seemed a virtual promise to agree with me； and； after
some hesitation； I said that my friend had； in fact； a substantial
secret； and that perhaps I might do him a good turn by putting her in
possession of it。 In as few words as possible I told her that
Pickering stood pledged by filial piety to marry a young lady at
Smyrna。 She listened intently to my story； when I had finished it
there was a faint flush of excitement in each of her cheeks。 She
broke out into a dozen exclamations of admiration and compassion。
〃What a wonderful talewhat a romantic situation！ No wonder poor
Mr。 Pickering seemed restless and unsatisfied； no wonder he wished to
put off the day of submission。 And the poor little girl at Smyrna；
waiting there for the young Western prince like the heroine of an
Eastern tale！ She would give the world to see her photograph； did I
think Mr。 Pickering would show it to her？ But never fear； she would
ask nothing indiscreet！ Yes； it was a marvellous story； and if she
had invented it herself； people would have said it was absurdly
improbable。〃 She left her seat and took several turns about the
room； smiling to herself； and uttering little German cries of
wonderment。 Suddenly she stopped before the piano and broke into a
little laugh； the next moment she buried her face in the great
bouquet of roses。 It was time I should go； but I was indisposed to
leave her without obtaining some definite assurance that； as far as
pity was concerned； she pitied the young girl at Smyrna more than the
young man at Homburg。
〃Of course you know what I wished in telling you this；〃 I said；
rising。 〃She is evidently a charming creature； and the best thing he
can do is to marry her。 I wished to interest you in that view of
it。〃
She had taken one of the roses from the vase and was arranging it in
the front of her dress。 Suddenly； looking up； 〃Leave it to me； leave
it to me！〃 she cried。 〃I am interested！〃 And with her little blue…
gemmed hand she tapped her forehead。 〃I am deeply interested！〃
And with this I had to content myself。 But more than once the next
day I repented of my zeal； and wondered whether a providence with a
white rose in her bosom might not turn out a trifle too human。 In
the evening； at the Kursaal； I looked for Pickering； but he was not
visible； and I reflected that my revelation had not as yet； at any
rate； seemed to Madame Blumenthal a reason for prescribing a cooling…
term to his passion。 Very late； as I was turning away； I saw him
arrivewith no small satisfaction； for I had determined to let him
know immediately in what way I had attempted to serve him。 But he
straightway passed his arm through my own and led me off towards the
gardens。 I saw that he was too excited to allow me to speak first。
〃I have burnt my ships！〃 he cried； when we were out of earshot of the
crowd。 〃I have told her everything。 I have insisted that it's
simple torture for me to wait with this idle view of loving her less。
It's well enough for her to ask it； but I feel strong enough now to
override her reluctance。 I have cast off the millstone from round my
neck。 I care for nothing； I know nothing； but that I love her with
every pulse of my beingand that everything else has been a hideous
dream； from which she may wake me into blissful morning with a single
word！〃
I held him off at arm's…length and looked at him gravely。 〃You have
told her； you mean； of your engagement to Miss Vernor？〃
〃The whole story！ I have given it upI have thrown it to the winds。
I have broken utterly with the past。 It may rise in its grave and
give me its curse； but it can't frighten me now。 I have a right to
be happy； I have a right to be free； I have a right not to bury
myself alive。 It was not _I_ who promisedI was not born then。 I
myself； my soul； my mind； my optionall this is but a month old！
Ah；〃 he went on； 〃if you knew the difference it makesthis having
chosen and broken and spoken！ I am twice the man I was yesterday！
Yesterday I was afraid of her； there was a kind of mocking mystery of
knowledge and cleverness about her； which oppressed me in the midst
of my love。 But now I am afraid of nothing but of being too happy！〃
I stood silent； to let him spend his eloquence。 But he paused a
moment； and took off his hat and fanned