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It's Saturday！ What need is there to think of it； unless I like？
There is no post to London to…day。 I _must_ wait。 If I posted the
letter； it wouldn't go。 Besides； to… morrow I may hear from Mrs。
Oldershaw。 I ought to wait to hear from Mrs。 Oldershaw。 I can't
consider myself a free woman till I know what Mrs。 Oldershaw
means to do。 There is a necessity for waiting till to…morrow。 I
shall take my bonnet off； and lock the letter up in my desk。
〃Sunday morning。There is no resisting it！ One after another the
circumstances crowd on me。 They come thicker and thicker； and
they all force me one way。
〃I have got Mother Oldershaw's answer。 The wretch fawns on me；
and cringes to me。 I can see； as plainly as if she had
acknowledged it； that she suspects me of seeing my own way to
success at Thorpe Ambrose without her assistance 。 Having found
threatening me useless； she tries coaxing me now。 I am her
darling Lydia again！ She is quite shocked that I could imagine
she ever really intended to arrest her bosom friend； and she has
only to entreat me； as a favor to herself； to renew the bill！
〃I say once more； no mortal creature could resist it！ Time after
time I have tried to escape the temptation； and time after time
the circumstances drive me back again。 I can struggle no longer。
The post that takes the letters to…night shall take my letter to
Midwinter among the rest。
〃To…night！ If I give myself till to…night； something else may
happen。 If I give myself till to…night； I may hesitate again。 I'm
weary of the torture of hesitating。 I must and will have relief
in the present； cost what it may in the future。 My letter to
Midwinter will drive me mad if I see it staring and staring at me
in my desk any longer。 I can post it in ten minutes' timeand I
will！
〃It is done。 The first of the three steps that lead me to the end
is a step taken。 My mind is quieterthe letter is in the post。
〃By to…morrow Midwinter will receive it。 Before the end of the
week Armadale must be publicly seen to leave Thorpe Ambrose； and
I must be publicly seen to leave with him。
〃Have I looked at the consequences of my marriage to Midwinter？
No！ Do I know how to meet the obstacle of my husband； when the
time comes which transforms me from the living Armadale's wife to
the dead Armadale's widow？
〃No！ When the time comes； I must meet the obstacle as I best may。
I am going blindfold； thenso far as Midwinter is
concernedinto this frightful risk？ Yes； blindfold。 Am I out of
my senses？ Very likely。 Or am I a little too fond of him to look
the thing in the face？ I dare say。 Who cares？
〃I won't； I won't； I won't think of it！ Haven't I a will of my
own？ And can't I think； if I like； of something else？
〃Here is Mother Jezebel's cringing letter。 _That_ is something
else to think of。 I'll answer it。 I am in a fine humor for
writing to Mother Jezebel。
* * * * * * *
_Conclusion of Miss Gwilt's Letter to Mrs。 Oldershaw。_
〃。。。。 I told you； when I broke off； that I would wait before I
finished this； and ask my Diary if I could safely tell you what I
have now got it in my mind to do。 Well； I have asked； and my
Diary says； 'Don't tell her！' Under these circumstances I close
my letterwith my best excuses for leaving you in the dark。
〃I shall probably be in London before longand I may tell you by
word of mouth what I don't think it safe to write here。 Mind； I
make no promise！ It all depends on how I feel toward you at the
time。 I don't doubt your discretion； but （under certain
circumstances） I am not so sure of your courage。 L。 G。〃
〃P。 S。My best thanks for your permission to renew the bill。 I
decline profiting by the proposal。 The money will be ready when
the money is due。 I have a friend now in London who will pay it
if I ask him。 Do you wonder who the friend is？ You will wonder at
one or two other things； Mrs。 Oldershaw； before many weeks more
are over your head and mine。〃
CHAPTER XI。
LOVE AND LAW。
ON the morning of Monday； the 28th of July； Miss Gwiltonce more
on the watch for Allan and Neeliereached her customary post of
observation in the park； by the usual roundabout way。
She was a little surprised to find Neelie alone at the place of
meeting。 She was more seriously astonished； when the tardy Allan
made his appearance ten minutes later； to see him mounting the
side of the dell； with a large volume under his arm； and to hear
him say； as an apology for being late； that 〃he had muddled away
his time in hunting for the Books； and that he had only found
one； after all； which seemed in the least likely to repay either
Neelie or himself for the trouble of looking into it。〃
If Miss Gwilt had waited long enough in the park； on the previous
Saturday； to hear the lovers' parting words on that occasion； she
would have been at no loss to explain the mystery of the volume
under Allan's arm； and she would have understood the apology
which he now offered for being late as readily as Neelie herself。
There is a certain exceptional occasion in lifethe occasion of
marriageon which even girls in their teens sometimes become
capable （more or less hysterically） of looking at consequences。
At the farewell moment of the interview on Saturday； Neelie's
mind had suddenly precipitated itself into the future； and she
had utterly confounded Allan by inquiring whether the
contemplated elopement was an offense punishable by the Law？ Her
memory satisfied her that she had certainly read somewhere； at
some former period； in some book or other （possibly a novel）； of
an elopement with a dreadful endof a bride dragged home in
hystericsand of a bridegroom sentenced to languish in prison；
with all his beautiful hair cut off； by Act of Parliament； close
to his head。 Supposing she could bring herself to consent to the
elopement at allwhich she positively declined to promiseshe
must first insist on discovering whether there was any fear of
the police being concerned in her marriage as well as the parson
and the clerk。 Allan； being a man； ought to know； and to Allan
she looked for informationwith
this preliminary assurance to assist him in laying down the law；
that she would die of a broken heart a thousand times over；
rather than be the innocent means of sending him to languish in
prison； and of cutting his hair off； by Act of Parliament； close
to his head。 〃It's no laughing matter；〃 said Neelie； resolutely；
in conclusion； 〃I decline even to think of our marriage till my
mind is made easy first on the subject of the Law。〃
〃But I don't know anything about the law； not even as much as you
do；〃 said Allan。 〃Hang the law！ I don't mind my head being
cropped。 Let's risk it。〃
〃Risk it？〃 repeated Neelie； indignantly。 〃Have you no
consideration for me？ I won't risk it！ Where there's a will；
there's a way。 We must find out the law for ourselves。〃
〃With all my heart；〃 said Allan。 〃How？〃
〃Out of books； to be sure！ There must be quantities of
information in that enormous library of yours at the great house。
If you really love me； you won't mind going over the backs of a
few thousand books； for my sake！〃
〃I'll go over the backs of ten thousand！〃 cri