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disgust for those propensions that are started in us without the
mediation and direction of the judgment； as； upon the subject I am
speaking of； I cannot entertain that passion of dandling and caressing
infants scarcely born； having as yet neither motion of soul nor shape of
body distinguishable； by which they can render themselves amiable； and
have not willingly suffered them to be nursed near me。 A true and
regular affection ought to spring and increase with the knowledge they
give us of themselves； and then； if they are worthy of it； the natural
propension walking hand in hand with reason； to cherish them with a truly
paternal love； and so to judge； also； if they be otherwise； still
rendering ourselves to reason； notwithstanding the inclination of nature。
'Tis oft…times quite otherwise； and； most commonly； we find ourselves
more taken with the running up and down； the games； and puerile
simplicities of our children； than we do； afterwards； with their most
complete actions； as if we had loved them for our sport； like monkeys；
and not as men； and some there are； who are very liberal in buying them
balls to play withal； who are very close…handed for the least necessary
expense when they come to age。 Nay； it looks as if the jealousy of
seeing them appear in and enjoy the world when we are about to leave it；
rendered us more niggardly and stingy towards them； it vexes us that they
tread upon our heels； as if to solicit us to go out； if this were to be
feared； since the order of things will have it so that they cannot； to
speak the truth； be nor live； but at the expense of our being and life；
we should never meddle with being fathers at all。
For my part； I think it cruelty and injustice not to receive them into
the share and society of our goods； and not to make them partakers in the
intelligence of our domestic affairs when they are capable； and not to
lessen and contract our own expenses to make the more room for theirs；
seeing we beget them to that effect。 'Tis unjust that an old fellow；
broken and half dead； should alone； in a corner of the chimney； enjoy the
money that would suffice for the maintenance and advancement of many
children； and suffer them； in the meantime； to lose their' best years for
want of means to advance themselves in the public service and the
knowledge of men。 A man by this course drives them to despair； and to
seek out by any means； how unjust or dishonourable soever； to provide for
their own support： as I have； in my time； seen several young men of good
extraction so addicted to stealing； that no correction could cure them of
it。 I know one of a very good family； to whom； at the request of a
brother of his； a very honest and brave gentleman； I once spoke on this
account； who made answer； and confessed to me roundly； that he had been
put upon this paltry practice by the severity and avarice of his father；
but that he was now so accustomed to it he could not leave it off。 And；
at that very time； he was trapped stealing a lady's rings； having come
into her chamber； as she was dressing with several others。 He put me in
mind of a story I had heard of another gentleman； so perfect and
accomplished in this fine trade in his youth； that； after he came to his
estate and resolved to give it over； he could not hold his hands；
nevertheless； if he passed by a shop where he saw anything he liked； from
catching it up； though it put him to the shame of sending afterwards to
pay for it。 And I have myself seen several so habituated to this quality
that even amongst their comrades they could not forbear filching； though
with intent to restore what they had taken。 I am a Gascon； and yet there
is no vice I so little understand as that； I hate it something more by
disposition than I condemn it by reason； I do not so much as desire
anything of another man's。 This province of ours is； in plain truth； a
little more decried than the other parts of the kingdom； and yet we have
several times seen； in our times； men of good families of other
provinces； in the hands of justice； convicted of abominable thefts。 I
fear this vice is； in some sort； to be attributed to the fore…mentioned
vice of the fathers。
And if a man should tell me； as a lord of very good understanding once
did； that 〃he hoarded up wealth； not to extract any other fruit and use
from his parsimony； but to make himself honoured and sought after by his
relations； and that age having deprived him of all other power； it was
the only remaining remedy to maintain his authority in his family； and to
keep him from being neglected and despised by all around；〃 in truth； not
only old age； but all other imbecility； according to Aristotle； is the
promoter of avarice； that is something； but it is physic for a disease
that a man should prevent the birth of。 A father is very miserable who
has no other hold on his children's affection than the need they have of
his assistance； if that can be called affection； he must render himself
worthy to be respected by his virtue and wisdom； and beloved by his
kindness and the sweetness of his manners； even the very ashes of a rich
matter have their value； and we are wont to have the bones and relics of
worthy men in regard and reverence。 No old age can be so decrepid in a
man who has passed his life in honour； but it must be venerable；
especially to his children； whose soul he must have trained up to their
duty by reason； not by necessity and the need they have of him； nor by
harshness and compulsion：
〃Et errat longe mea quidem sententia
Qui imperium credat esse gravius； aut stabilius；
Vi quod fit； quam illud； quod amicitia adjungitur。〃
＇〃He wanders far from the truth； in my opinion； who thinks that
government more absolute and durable which is acquired by force than
that which is attached to friendship。Terence； Adelph。； i。 I； 40。＇
I condemn all violence in the education of a tender soul that is designed
for honour and liberty。 There is I know not what of servile in rigour
and constraint； and I am of opinion that what is not to be done by
reason； prudence； and address； is never to be affected by force。 I
myself was brought up after that manner； and they tell me that in all my
first age I never felt the rod but twice； and then very slightly。 I
practised the same method with my children； who all of them died at
nurse； except Leonora； my only daughter； and who arrived to the age of
five years and upward without other correction for her childish faults
（her mother's indulgence easily concurring） than words only； and those
very gentle； in which kind of proceeding； though my end and expectation
should be both frustrated； there are other causes enough to lay the fault
on without blaming my discipline； which I know to be natural and just；
and I should； in this； have yet been more religious towards the males； as
less born to subjection and more free； and I should have made it my
business to fill their hearts with ingenuousness and freedom。 I have
never observed other effects of whipping than to render boys more
cowardly； or more wilfully obstinate。
Do we desire to be beloved of our chi