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THE PEOPLE OF THE ABYSS
Upright。 A detective of thirty…odd years' continuous service in the East
End； known far and wide by a name given him by a convicted felon in the
dock； he was just the man to find me an honest landlady； and make her rest
easy concerning the strange comings and goings of which I might be
guilty。
His two daughters beat him home from churchand pretty girls they
were in their Sunday dresses； withal it was the certain weak and delicate
prettiness which characterises the Cockney lasses； a prettiness which is no
more than a promise with no grip on time； and doomed to fade quickly
away like the colour from a sunset sky。
They looked me over with frank curiosity； as though I were some sort
of a strange animal； and then ignored me utterly for the rest of my wait。
Then Johnny Upright himself arrived； and I was summoned upstairs to
confer with him。
〃Speak loud；〃 he interrupted my opening words。 〃I've got a bad cold；
and I can't hear well。〃
Shades of Old Sleuth and Sherlock Holmes！ I wondered as to where
the assistant was located whose duty it was to take down whatever
information I might loudly vouchsafe。 And to this day； much as I have
seen of Johnny Upright and much as I have puzzled over the incident； I
have never been quite able to make up my mind as to whether or not he
had a cold； or had an assistant planted in the other room。 But of one
thing I am sure： though I gave Johnny Upright the facts concerning
myself and project； he withheld judgment till next day； when I dodged into
his street conventionally garbed and in a hansom。 Then his greeting was
cordial enough； and I went down into the dining…room to join the family at
tea。
〃We are humble here；〃 he said； 〃not given to the flesh； and you must
take us for what we are； in our humble way。〃
The girls were flushed and embarrassed at greeting me； while he did
not make it any the easier for them。
〃Ha！ ha！〃 he roared heartily； slapping the table with his open hand till
the dishes rang。 〃The girls thought yesterday you had come to ask for a
piece of bread！ Ha！ ha！ ho！ ho！ ho！〃
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THE PEOPLE OF THE ABYSS
This they indignantly denied； with snapping eyes and guilty red cheeks；
as though it were an essential of true refinement to be able to discern
under his rags a man who had no need to go ragged。
And then； while I ate bread and marmalade； proceeded a play at cross
purposes； the daughters deeming it an insult to me that I should have been
mistaken for a beggar； and the father considering it as the highest
compliment to my cleverness to succeed in being so mistaken。 All of
which I enjoyed； and the bread； the marmalade； and the tea； till the time
came for Johnny Upright to find me a lodging； which he did； not half…a…
dozen doors away； in his own respectable and opulent street； in a house as
like to his own as a pea to its mate。
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THE PEOPLE OF THE ABYSS
CHAPTER IIIMY LODGING
AND SOME OTHERS
From an East London standpoint； the room I rented for six shillings； or
a dollar and a half； per week； was a most comfortable affair。 From the
American standpoint； on the other hand； it was rudely furnished；
uncomfortable； and small。 By the time I had added an ordinary
typewriter table to its scanty furnishing； I was hard put to turn around； at
the best； I managed to navigate it by a sort of vermicular progression
requiring great dexterity and presence of mind。
Having settled myself； or my property rather； I put on my knockabout
clothes and went out for a walk。 Lodgings being fresh in my mind； I
began to look them up； bearing in mind the hypothesis that I was a poor
young man with a wife and large family。
My first discovery was that empty houses were few and far between
so far between； in fact； that though I walked miles in irregular circles over
a large area； I still remained between。 Not one empty house could I find…
…a conclusive proof that the district was 〃saturated。〃
It being plain that as a poor young man with a family I could rent no
houses at all in this most undesirable region； I next looked for rooms；
unfurnished rooms； in which I could store my wife and babies and chattels。
There were not many； but I found them； usually in the singular； for one
appears to be considered sufficient for a poor man's family in which to
cook and eat and sleep。 When I asked for two rooms； the sublettees
looked at me very much in the manner； I imagine； that a certain personage
looked at Oliver Twist when he asked for more。
Not only was one room deemed sufficient for a poor man and his
family； but I learned that many families； occupying single rooms； had so
much space to spare as to be able to take in a lodger or two。 When such
rooms can be rented for from three to six shillings per week； it is a fair
conclusion that a lodger with references should obtain floor space for； say；
from eightpence to a shilling。 He may even be able to board with the
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THE PEOPLE OF THE ABYSS
sublettees for a few shillings more。 This； however； I failed to inquire into
a reprehensible error on my part； considering that I was working on the
basis of a hypothetical family。
Not only did the houses I investigated have no bath…tubs； but I learned
that there were no bath…tubs in all the thousands of houses I had seen。
Under the circumstances； with my wife and babies and a couple of lodgers
suffering from the too great spaciousness of one room； taking a bath in a
tin wash…basin would be an unfeasible undertaking。 But； it seems； the
compensation comes in with the saving of soap； so all's well； and God's
still in heaven。
However； I rented no rooms； but returned to my own Johnny Upright's
street。 What with my wife； and babies； and lodgers； and the various
cubby…holes into which I had fitted t