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though； I believe； his real taste lies that way； and his aversion
only arises a few grand notions he has picked up； out of which I
could soon talk him。〃
〃Tom will not stand in your place；〃 said Ethel。
〃He will be more equable and more to be depended upon；〃 said Norman。
〃None of you appreciate Tom。 However； you must hear my alternative。
If you think my going would be too much grief for papa； or if Tom be
set against helping him in his practice； there is an evident leading
of Providence； showing that I am unworthy of this work。 In that case
I would go abroad and throw myself； at once； with all my might； into
the study of medicine； and get ready to give my father some rest。 It
is a shame that all his sons should turn away from his profession。〃
〃I am more than ever amazed！〃 cried Ethel。 〃I thought you detested
it。 I thought papa never wished it for you。 He said you had not
nerve。〃
〃He was always full of the tenderest consideration for me；〃 said
Norman。 〃With Heaven to help him； a man may have nerve for whatever
is his duty。〃
〃How he would like to have you to watch and help。 But New Zealand
would be so glorious！〃
〃Glory is not for me；〃 said Norman。 〃Understand； Ethel； the choice
is New Zealand； or going at onceat once； mindto study at
Edinburgh or Paris。〃
〃New Zealand at once？〃 said Ethel。
〃I suppose I mast stay for divinity lectures； but my intention must
be avowed；〃 said Norman hastily。 〃And now； will you sound my father？
I cannot。〃
〃I can't sound；〃 said Ethel。 〃I can only do things point…blank。〃
〃Do then；〃 said Norman； 〃any way you can！ Only let me know which is
best for him。 You get all the disagreeable things to do； good old
unready one；〃 he added kindly。 〃I believe you are the one who would
be shoved in front； if we were obliged to face a basilisk。〃
The brightness that had come over Norman； when he had discharged his
cares upon her； was encouragement enough for Ethel。 She only asked
how much she was to repeat of their conversation。
〃Whatever you think best。 I do not want to grieve him； but he must
not think it fine in me。〃
Ethel privately thought that no power on earth could prevent him from
doing that。
It was not consistent with cautious sounding； that Norman was always
looking appealingly towards her； and； indeed； she could not wait long
with such a question on her mind。 She remained with her father in
the drawing…room； when the rest were gone upstairs； and； plunging at
once into the matter； she said； 〃Papa； there is something that Norman
cannot bear to say to you himself。〃
〃Humming…birds to wit？〃 said Dr。 May。
〃No； indeed； but he wants to be doing something at once。 What should
you think ofofthere are two things； one isgoing out as a
missionary〃
〃Humming…birds in another shape；〃 said the doctor； startled； but
smiling； so as to pique her。
〃You mean to treat it as a boy's fancy！〃 said she。
〃It is rather suspicious；〃 he said。 〃Well； what is the other of his
two things？〃
〃The other is； to begin studying medicine at once； so as to help
you。〃
〃Heyday！〃 cried Dr。 May； drawing up his tall vigorous figure； 〃does
he think me so very ancient and superannuated？〃
What could possess him to be so provoking and unsentimental to…night？
Was it her own bad management？ She longed to put an end to the
conversation； and answered； 〃No； but he thinks it hard that none of
your sons should be willing to relieve you。〃
〃It won't be Norman；〃 said Dr。 May。 〃He is not made of the stuff。
If he survived the course of study； every patient he lost； he would
bring himself in guilty of murder； and there would soon be an end of
him！〃
〃He says that a man can force himself to anything that is his duty。〃
〃This is not going to be his duty； if I can make it otherwise。 What
is the meaning of all this？ No； I need not ask； poor boy； it is what
I was afraid of！〃
〃It is far deeper；〃 said Ethel； and she related great part of what
she had heard in the afternoon。 It was not easy to make her father
listenhis line was to be positively indignant； rather than
compassionate； when he heard of the doubts that had assailed poor
Norman。 〃Foolish boy； what business had he to meddle with those
accursed books； when he knew what they were made ofit was tasting
poison； it was running into temptation！ He had no right to expect to
come out safe〃 and then he grasped tightly hold of Ethel's hands；
and； as if the terror had suddenly flashed on him； asked her； with
dilated eye and trembling voice； whether she were sure that he was
safe； and held the faith。
Ethel repeated his asseveration； and her father covered his face with
his hands in thanksgiving。
After this； he seemed somewhat inclined to hold poor Oxford in
horror； only； as he observed； it would be going out of the frying…pan
into the fire； to take refuge at Parisa recurrence to the notion of
Norman's medical studies； that showed him rather enticed by the
proposal。
He sent Ethel to bed； saying he should talk to Norman and find out
what was the meaning of it； and she walked upstairs； much ashamed of
having so ill served her brother； as almost to have made him
ridiculous。
Dr May and Norman never failed to come to an understanding； and after
they had had a long drive into the country together； Dr May told
Ethel that he was afraid； of what he ought not to be afraid of； that
she was right； that the lad was very much in earnest now at any rate；
and if he should continue in the same mind； he hoped he should not be
so weak as to hold him from a blessed work。
From Norman； Ethel heard the warmest gratitude for his father's
kindness。 Nothing could be done yet； he must wait patiently for the
present； but he was to write to his uncle； Mr。 Arnott； in New
Zealand； and； without pledging himself； to make inquiries as to the
mission； and in the meantime； return to Oxford； where； to his other
studies； he was to add a course of medical lectures； which； as Dr。
May said； would do him no harm； would occupy his mind； and might turn
to use wherever he
was。
Ethel was surprised to find that Norman wrote to Flora an expression
of his resolution； that； if he found he could be spared from
assisting his father as a physician； he would give himself up to the
mission in New Zealand。 Why should he tell any one so unsympathetic
as Flora； who would think him wasted in either case？
CHAPTER XVII。
Do not fear： Heaven is as near；
By water； as by land。LONGFELLOW。
The fifth of May was poor Harry's eighteenth birthday； and； as usual；
was a holiday。 Etheldred privately thought his memory more likely to
be respected； if Blanche and Aubrey were employed； than if they were
left in idleness； but Mary would have been wretched had the
celebration been omitted； and a leisure day was never unwelcome。
Dr。 Spencer carried off Blanche and Aubrey for a walk； and Ethel
found Mary at her great resortHarry's cupboarddusting and
arranging his books； and the array of birthday gifts； to which； even
to…day； she had not failed to add the marker that had been in hand at
Christmas。 Ethel entreated her to come down； and Mary promised； and
presently appeared； looking so me