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I will notlet me conquer it；〃 and he was turning back； but the
doctor took his arm； saying decidedly； 〃No； I won't have it done。
You are only making it worse by putting a force on yourself。〃 But
the farther Norman was from the bridge； the more displeased he was
with himself； and more anxious to dare it again。 〃There's no bearing
it；〃 he muttered； 〃let me only run back。 I'll overtake you。 I must
do it if no one looks on。〃
〃No such thing；〃 said the doctor； holding him fast。 〃If you do；
you'll have it all over again at night。〃
〃That's better than to know I am worse than Tom。〃
〃I tell you； Norman； it is no such thing。 You will recover your tone
if you will only do as you are told； but your nerves have had a
severe shock； and when you force yourself in this way； you only
increase the mischief。〃
〃Nerves；〃 muttered Norman disdainfully。 〃I thought they were only fit
for fine ladies。〃
Dr。 May smiled。 〃Well； will it content you if I promise that as soon
as I see fit； I'll bring you here； and let you march over that bridge
as often as you like？〃
〃I suppose I must be contented； but I don't like to feel like a
fool。〃
〃You need not； while the moral determination is sound。〃
〃But my Greek； papa。〃
〃At it againI declare； Norman； you are the worst patient I ever
had！〃
Norman made no answer； and Dr。 May presently said； 〃Well； let me hear
what you have to say about it。 I assure you it is not that I don't
want you to get on； but that I see you are in great need of rest。〃
〃Thank you； papa。 I know you mean it for my good； but I don't think
you do know how horrid it is。 I have got nothing on earth to do or
care forthe school work comes quite easy to me； and I'm sure
thinking is worse； and then〃Norman spoke vehemently〃now they have
put me up； it will never do to be beaten； and all the four others
ought to be able to do it。 I did not want or expect to be dux； but
now I am； you could not bear me not to keep my place； and to miss the
Randall scholarship； as I certainly shall； if I do not work these
whole holidays。〃
〃Norman； I know it；〃 said his father kindly。 〃I am very sorry for
you； and I know I am asking of you what I could not have done at your
ageindeed； I don't believe I could have done it for you a few
months ago。 It is my fault that you have been let alone； to have an
overstrain and pressure on your mind； when you were not fit for it；
and I cannot see any remedy but complete freedom from work。 At the
same time； if you fret and harass yourself about being surpassed；
that is； as you say； much worse for you than Latin and Greek。
Perhaps I may be wrong； and study might not do you the harm I think
it would； at any rate； it is better than tormenting yourself about
next half year； so I will not positively forbid it； but I think you
had much better let it alone。 I don't want to make it a matter of
duty。 I only tell you this； that you may set your mind at rest as
far as I am concerned。 If you do lose your place； I will consider it
as my own doing； and not be disappointed。 I had rather see you a
healthy； vigorous； useful man； than a poor puling nervous wretch of a
scholar； if you were to get all the prizes in the university。〃
Norman made a little murmuring sound of assent； and both were silent
for some moments； then he said； 〃Then you will not be displeased；
papa； if I do read； as long as I feel it does me no harm。〃
〃I told you I don't mean to make it a matter of obedience。 Do as you
pleaseI had rather you read than vexed yourself。〃
〃I am glad of it。 Thank you； papa；〃 said Norman； in a much cheered
voice。
They had； in the meantime； been mounting a rising ground； clothed
with stunted wood； and came out on a wide heath； brown with dead
bracken； a hollow； traced by the tops of leafless trees； marked the
course of the stream that traversed it； and the inequalities of
ground becoming more rugged in outlines and grayer in colouring as
they receded； till they were closed by a dark fir wood； beyond which
rose in extreme distance the grand mass of Welsh mountain heads；
purpled against the evening sky； except where the crowning peaks bore
a veil of snow。 Behind； the sky was pure gold； gradually shading
into pale green； and then into clear light wintry blue； while the sun
sitting behind two of the loftiest； seemed to confound their
outlines； and blend them in one flood of soft hazy brightness。 Dr。
May looked at his son； and saw his face clear up； his brow expand；
and his lips unclose with admiration。
〃Yes；〃 said the doctor； 〃it is very fine； is it not？ I used to bring
mamma here now and then for a treat； because it put her in mind of
her Scottish hills。 Well； your's are the golden hills of heaven；
now； my Maggie！〃 he added； hardly knowing that he spoke aloud。
Norman's throat swelled； as he looked up in his face； then cast down
his eyes hastily to hide the tears that had gathered on his
eyelashes。
〃I'll leave you here；〃 said Dr。 May； 〃I have to go to a farmhouse
close by； in the hollow behind us； there's a girl recovering from a
fever。 I'll not be ten minutes； so wait here。〃
When he came back； Norman was still where he had left him； gazing
earnestly； and the tears standing on his cheeks。 He did not move
till his father laid his hand on his shoulderthey walked away
together without a word； and scarcely spoke all the way home。
Dr。 May went to Margaret and talked to her of Norman's fine
character； and intense affection for his mother； the determined
temper； and quietly borne grief； for which the doctor seemed to have
worked himself into a perfect enthusiasm of admiration； but lamenting
that he could not tell what to do with himstudy or no study hurt
him alikeand he dreaded to see health and spirits shattered for
ever。 They tried to devise change of scene； but it did not seem
possible just at present； and Margaret； besides her fears for Norman；
was much grieved to see this added to her father's troubles。
At night Dr。 May again went up to see whether Norman； whom he had
moved into Margaret's former room； were again suffering from fever。
He found him asleep in a restless attitude； as if he had just dropped
off； and waking almost at the instant of his entrance； he exclaimed；
〃Is it you？ I thought it was mamma。 She said it was all ambition。〃
Then starting； and looking round the room； and at his father； he
collected himself； and said； with a slight smile； 〃I didn't know I
had been asleep。 I was awake just now； thinking about it。 Papa；
I'll give it up。 I'll try to put next half out of my head； and not
mind if they do pass me。〃
〃That's right； my boy；〃 said the doctor。
〃At least if Cheviot and Forder do； for they ought。 I only hope
Anderson won't。 I can stand anything but that。 But that is nonsense
too。〃
〃You are quite right； Norman；〃 said the doctor； 〃and it is a great
relief to me that you see the thing so sensibly。〃
〃No； I don't see it sensibly at all； papa。 I hate it all the time；
and I don't know whether I can keep from thinking of it； when I have
nothing to do； but I see it is wrong； I thought all ambition and
nonsense was gone out of me； when I cared so little for the
examina