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breakfasted on brawn and ale at sunrise； as in our more refined age of
green tea and muffins at noon。 Matilda seemed disposed to fly again to
her lover； but the baron forced her from the chapel。 The earl's bowmen at
the door sent in among the assailants a volley of arrows； one of which
whizzed past the ear of the abbot； who； in mortal fear of being suddenly
translated from a ghostly friar into a friarly ghost； began to roll out of the
chapel as fast as his bulk and his holy robes would permit； roaring
〃Sacrilege！〃 with all his monks at his heels； who were； like himself； more
intent to go at once than to stand upon the order of their going。 The
abbot； thus pressed from behind； and stumbling over his own drapery
before； fell suddenly prostrate in the door…way that connected the chapel
with the abbey； and was instantaneously buried under a pyramid of ghostly
carcasses； that fell over him and each other； and lay a rolling chaos of
animated rotundities； sprawling and bawling in unseemly disarray； and
sending forth the names of all the saints in and out of heaven； amidst the
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clashing of swords； the ringing of bucklers； the clattering of helmets； the
twanging of bow…strings； the whizzing of arrows； the screams of women；
the shouts of the warriors； and the vociferations of the peasantry； who had
been assembled to the intended nuptials； and who； seeing a fair set…to；
contrived to pick a quarrel among themselves on the occasion； and
proceeded； with staff and cudgel； to crack each other's skulls for the good
of the king and the earl。 One tall friar alone was untouched by the panic of
his brethren； and stood steadfastly watching the combat with his arms a…
kembo； the colossal emblem of an unarmed neutrality。
At length； through the midst of the internal confusion； the earl； by the
help of his good sword； the staunch valour of his men； and the blessing of
the Virgin； fought his way to the chapel…gate his bowmen closed him in
he vaulted into his saddle； clapped spurs to his horse； rallied his men on
the first eminence； and exchanged his sword for a bow and arrow； with
which he did old execution among the pursuers； who at last thought it
most expedient to desist from offensive warfare； and to retreat into the
abbey； where； in the king's name； they broached a pipe of the best wine；
and attached all the venison in the larder； having first carefully unpacked
the tuft of friars； and set the fallen abbot on his legs。
The friars； it may be well supposed； and such of the king's men as
escaped unhurt from the affray； found their spirits a cup too low； and kept
the flask moving from noon till night。 The peaceful brethren； unused to
the tumult of war； had undergone； from fear and discomposure； an
exhaustion of animal spirits that required extraordinary refection。 During
the repast； they interrogated Sir Ralph Montfaucon； the leader of the
soldiers； respecting the nature of the earl's offence。
〃A complication of offences；〃 replied Sir Ralph； 〃superinduced on the
original basis of forest…treason。 He began with hunting the king's deer； in
despite of all remonstrance； followed it up by contempt of the king's
mandates； and by armed resistance to his power； in defiance of all
authority； and combined with it the resolute withholding of payment of
certain moneys to the abbot of Doncaster； in denial of all law； and has thus
made himself the declared enemy of church and state； and all for being too
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Maid Marian
fond of venison。〃 And the knight helped himself to half a pasty。
〃A heinous offender；〃 said a little round oily friar； appropriating the
portion of pasty which Sir Ralph had left。
〃The earl is a worthy peer；〃 said the tall friar whom we have already
mentioned in the chapel scene； 〃and the best marksman in England。〃
〃Why this is flat treason； brother Michael；〃 said the little round friar；
〃to call an attainted traitor a worthy peer。〃
〃I pledge you；〃 said brother Michael。 The little friar smiled and filled
his cup。 〃He will draw the long bow；〃 pursued brother Michael； 〃with
any bold yeoman among them all。〃
〃Don't talk of the long bow；〃 said the abbot； who had the sound of the
arrow still whizzing in his ear： 〃what have we pillars of the faith to do
with the long bow？〃
〃Be that as it may；〃 said Sir Ralph； 〃he is an outlaw from this
moment。〃
〃So much the worse for the law then；〃 said brother Michael。 〃The
law will have a heavier miss of him than he will have of the law。 He will
strike as much venison as ever； and more of other game。 I know what I say：
but basta： Let us drink。〃
〃What other game？〃 said the little friar。 〃I hope he won't poach
among our partridges。〃
〃Poach！ not he；〃 said brother Michael： 〃if he wants your partridges；
he will strike them under your nose （here's to you）； and drag your trout…
stream for you on a Thursday evening。〃
〃Monstrous！ and starve us on fast…day；〃 said the little friar。
〃But that is not the game I mean；〃 said brother Michael。
〃Surely； son Michael；〃 said the abbot； 〃you do not mean to insinuate
that the noble earl will turn freebooter？〃
〃A man must live；〃 said brother Michael； 〃earl or no。 If the law takes
his rents and beeves without his consent； he must take beeves and rents
where he can get them without the consent of the law。 This is the lex
talionis。〃
〃Truly；〃 said Sir Ralph； 〃I am sorry for the damsel： she seems fond of
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this wild runagate。〃
〃A mad girl； a mad girl；〃 said the little friar。
〃How a mad girl？〃 said brother Michael。 〃Has she not beauty； grace；
wit； sense； discretion； dexterity； learning； and valour？〃
〃Learning！〃 exclaimed the little friar； 〃what has a woman to do with
learning？ And valour！ who ever heard a woman commended for valour？
Meekness and mildness； and softness； and g