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short； sandy…haired and tobacco…smoking nobleman； who
cannot have left the nursery very long； and who； though
he accepted the honest Major's invitation to the
Evergreens in a letter written in a school…boy
handwriting； with a number of faults of spelling； may yet
be a very fine classical scholar for what I know： having
had his education at Eton； where he and young Ponto were
inseparable。
At any rate； if he can't write； he has mastered a number
of other accomplishments wonderful for one of his age and
size。 He is one of the best shots and riders in England。
He rode his horse Abracadabra； and won the famous
Guttlebury steeple…chase。 He has horses entered at half
the races in the country （under other people's names； for
the old lord is a strict hand； and will not hear of
betting or gambling）。 He has lost and won such sums of
money as my Lord George himself might be proud of。 He
knows all the stables； and all the jockeys； and has all
the 'information；' and is a match for the best Leg at
Newmarket。 Nobody was ever known to be 'too much' for
him at play or in the stable。
Although his grandfather makes him a moderate allowance；
by the aid of POST…OBITS and convenient friends he can
live in a splendour becoming his rank。 He has not
distinguished himself in the knocking down of policemen
much； he is not big enough for that。 But； as a light…
weight； his skill is of the very highest order。 At
billiards he is said to be first…rate。 He drinks and
smokes as much as any two of the biggest officers in his
regiment。 With such high talents； who can say how far he
may not go？ He may take to politics as a DELASSEMENT；
and be Prime Minister after Lord George Bentinck。
My young friend Wellesley Ponto is a gaunt and bony
youth； with a pale face profusely blotched。 From his
continually pulling something on his chin； I am led to
fancy that he believes he has what is called an Imperial
growing there。 That is not the only tuft that is hunted
in the family； by the way。 He can't； of course； indulge
in those expensive amusements which render his
aristocratic comrade so respected： he bets pretty freely
when he is in cash； and rides when somebody mounts him
（for he can't afford more than his regulation chargers）。
At drinking he is by no means inferior； and why do you
think he brought his noble friend； Lord Gules； to the
Evergreens？Why？ because he intended to ask his mother
to order his father to pay his debts； which she couldn't
refuse before such an exalted presence。 Young Ponto gave
me all this information with the most engaging frankness。
We are old friends。 I used to tip him when he was at
school。
'Gad！'： says he； 'our wedgment's so DOOTHID exthpenthif。
Must hunt； you know。 A man couldn't live in the wedgment
if he didn't。 Mess expenses enawmuth。 Must dine at
mess。 Must drink champagne and claret。 Ours ain't a
port and sherry light…infantry mess。 Uniform's awful。
Fitzstultz； our Colonel； will have 'em so。 Must be a
distinction you know。 At his own expense Fitzstultz
altered the plumes in the men's caps （you called them
shaving…brushes； Snob； my boy： most absurd and unjust
that attack of yours； by the way）； that altewation alone
cotht him five hundred pound。 The year befaw latht he
horthed the wegiment at an immenthe expenthe； and we're
called the Queen'th Own Pyebalds from that day。 Ever
theen uth on pawade？ The Empewar Nicolath burtht into
tearth of envy when he thaw uth at Windthor。 And you
see；' continued my young friend； 'I brought Gules down
with me； as the Governor is very sulky about shelling
out； just to talk my mother over； who can do anything
with him。 Gules told her that I was Fitzstultz's
favourite of the whole regiment； and； Gad！ she thinks the
Horse Guards will give me my troop for nothing； and he
humbugged the Governor that I was the greatest screw in
the army。 Ain't it a good dodge？'
With this Wellesley left me to go and smoke a cigar in
the stables with Lord Gules； and make merry over the
cattle there； under Stripes's superintendence。 Young
Ponto laughed with his friend； at the venerable four…
wheeled cruelty…chaise； but seemed amazed that the latter
should ridicule still more an ancient chariot of the
build of 1824； emblazoned immensely with the arme of the
Pontos and the Snaileys； from which latter distinguished
family Mrs。 Ponto issued。
I found poor Pon in his study among his boots； in such a
rueful attitude of despondency； that I could not but
remark it。 'Look at that！' says the poor fellow； handing
me over a document。 'It's the second change in uniform
since he's been in the army； and yet there's no
extravagance about the lad。 Lord Gules tells me he is
the most careful youngster in the regiment； God bless
him！ But look at that！ by heaven； Snob； look at that and
say how can a man of nine hundred keep out of the Bench？'
He gave a sob as he handed me the paper across the table；
and his old face； and his old corduroys； and his shrunk
shooting…jacket； and his lean shanks； looked； as he
spoke； more miserably haggard； bankrupt； and threadbare。
LIEUT。 WELLESLEY PONTO； 120TH QUEEN'S OWN PYEBALD
HUSSARS；
TO KNOPF AND STECKNADEL；
CONDUIT STREET； LONDON。
L。 s。 d
Dress Jacket； richly laced with gold 。 35 0 0
Ditto Pelisse ditto； and trimmed with sable 。 。 60 0 0
Undress Jacket； trimmed with gold 15 15 0
Ditto Pelisse 。 。 30 0 0
Dress Pantaloons 12 0 0
Ditto Overalls； gold lace on sides。 6 6 0
Undress ditto ditto。 5 5 0
Blue Braided Frock 14 14 0
Forage Cap 。 。 3 3 0
Dress Cap； gold lines； plume and chain 。 。 。 25 0 0
Gold Barrelled Sash 11 18 0
Sword 。 。 11 11 0
Ditto Belt and Sabretache 。。 16 16 0
Pouch and Belt。 15 15 0
SwordKnot 。。 1 4 0
Cloak 。 。。 13 13 0
Valise 。 。。 3 13 6
Regulation Saddle 。 7 17 6
Ditto Bridle； complete 。 。。 10 10 0
A Dress Housing； complete 。。 30 0 0
A pair of Pistols。 10 10 0
A Black Sheepskin； edged。 。 。 6 18 0
Total L347 9 0
That evening Mrs。 Ponto and her family made their darling
Wellesley give a full； true； and particular account of
everything that had taken place at Lord Fitzstultz's； how
many servants waited at dinner； and how the Ladies
Schneider dressed； and what his Royal Highness said when
he came down to shoot； and who wa