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defends the interests of his client； when you ought in reality rather to
admire the exact precision of his right angles？ Or again； why blame a
lying； thievish Isosceles； when you ought rather to deplore the incurable
inequality of his sides？
Theoretically； this doctrine is unquestionable； but it has practical
drawbacks。 In dealing with an Isosceles； if a rascal pleads that he cannot
help stealing because of his unevenness； you reply that for that very reason；
because he cannot help being a nuisance to his neighbours； you； the
Magistrate； cannot help sentencing him to be consumed and there's an
end of the matter。 But in little domestic difficulties； when the penalty of
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consumption； or death； is out of the question； this theory of Configuration
sometimes comes in awkwardly； and I must confess that occasionally
when one of my own Hexagonal Grandsons pleads as an excuse for his
disobedience that a sudden change of temperature has been too much for
his Perimeter； and that I ought to lay the blame not on him but on his
Configuration； which can only be strengthened by abundance of the
choicest sweetmeats； I neither see my way logically to reject； nor
practically to accept； his conclusions。
For my own part； I find it best to assume that a good sound scolding or
castigation has some latent and strengthening influence on my Grandson's
Configuration； though I own that I have no grounds for thinking so。 At all
events I am not alone in my way of extricating myself from this dilemma；
for I find that many of the highest Circles； sitting as Judges in law courts；
use praise and blame towards Regular and Irregular Figures； and in their
homes I know by experience that； when scolding their children； they speak
about 〃right〃 and 〃wrong〃 as vehemently and passionately as if they
believe that these names represented real existence； and that a human
Figure is really capable of choosing between them。
Constantly carrying out their policy of making Configuration the
leading idea in every mind； the Circles reverse the nature of that
Commandment which in Spaceland regulates the relations between parents
and children。 With you； children are taught to honour their parents； with
usnext to the Circles； who are the chief object of universal homage a
man is taught to honour his Grandson； if he has one； or； if not； his Son。 By
〃honour；〃 however； is by no means mean 〃indulgence；〃 but a reverent
regard for their highest interests： and the Circles teach that the duty of
fathers is to subordinate their own interests to those of posterity； thereby
advancing the welfare of the whole State as well as that of their own
immediate descendants。
The weak point in the system of the Circlesif a humble Square may
venture to speak of anything Circular as containing any element of
weaknessappears to me to be found in their relations with Women。
As it is of the utmost importance for Society that Irregular births
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should be discouraged； it follows that no Woman who has any
Irregularities in her ancestry is a fit partner for one who desires that his
posterity should rise by regular degrees in the social scale。
Now the Irregularity of a Male is a matter of measurement； but as all
Women are straight； and therefore visibly Regular so to speak； one has to
device some other means of ascertaining what I may call their invisible
Irregularity； that is to say their potential Irregularities as regards possible
offspring。 This is effected by carefully…kept pedigrees； which are
preserved and supervised by the State； and without a certified pedigree no
Woman is allowed to marry。
Now it might have been supposed the a Circleproud of his ancestry
and regardful for a posterity which might possibly issue hereafter in a
Chief Circlewould be more careful than any other to choose a wife who
had no blot on her escutcheon。 But it is not so。 The care in choosing a
Regular wife appears to diminish as one rises in the social scale。 Nothing
would induce an aspiring Isosceles； who has hopes of generating an
Equilateral Son； to take a wife who reckoned a single Irregularity among
her Ancestors； a Square or Pentagon； who is confident that his family is
steadily on the rise； does not inquire above the five…hundredth generation；
a Hexagon or Dodecagon is even more careless of the wife's pedigree； but
a Circle has been known deliberately to take a wife who has had an
Irregular Great…Grandfather； and all because of some slight superiority of
lustre； or because of the charms of a low voicewhich； with us； even more
than with you； is thought 〃an excellent thing in a Woman。〃
Such ill…judged marriages are； as might be expected； barren； if they do
not result in positive Irregularity or in diminution of sides； but none of
these evils have hitherto provided sufficiently deterrent。 The loss of a few
sides in a highly…developed Polygon is not easily noticed； and is
sometimes compensated by a successful operation in the Neo…Therapeutic
Gymnasium； as I have described above； and the Circles are too much
disposed to acquiesce in infecundity as a law of the superior development。
Yet； if this evil be not arrested； the gradual diminution of the Circular class
may soon become more rapid； and the time may not be far distant when；
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the race being no longer able to produce a Chief Circle； the Constitution of
Flatland must fall。
One other word of warning suggest itself to me； though I cannot so
easily mention a remedy； and this also refers to our relations with Women。
About three hundred years ago； it was decreed by the Chief Circle that；
since women are deficient in Reason but abundant in Emotion； they ought
no longer to be treated as rational； nor receive any mental education。 The